Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one of life's greatest challenges, and when trying to schedule vacation time with the rest of the family, caregivers can often feel guilty for trying to carry on and have a normal life. Additionally, fond memories of past vacations, when the loved one was still healthy, can create a downward spiral with feelings of loss and sadness.

More than fifty million people, one in every five Americans, help loved ones who can no longer help themselves. But when caring for another, a caregiver often neglects their own well-being, oftentimes not even seeing themself as a caregiver, but simply as a loving family member--doing what needs to be done.

STEPS CAREGIVERS CAN TAKE TO REDUCE STRESS AND ENJOY VACATIONS

* Take Care of You: You can't be an effective caregiver if you are so stressed that you get sick and have to cancel a vacation. As hard as it is to find the time and motivation, realize that it's imperative that you nurture yourself.

-Eat healthy: set limits on high fat and processed foods, caffeine, and too many sugar-laden treats that can increase fatigue.

-Exercise often: take a walk, stretch, lift weights, do isometrics.

-Get proper sleep: take naps when necessary.

-Meditate: practice deep breathing and visualize happy times.

-Attend a support group regularly: solutions will present themselves.

-Do things you enjoy: read, music, hobbies, crafts, movies, etc.

-Use a hand sanitizer: viral and bacterial infections can be reduced.

-Treat depression: find a therapist and consider taking an anti-depressant.

-Get yearly physicals and appropriate tests: cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetes, mammogram, prostate, colonoscopy, etc.

* Plan Ahead, Organize, Pace Yourself: Give yourself plenty of time to plan a vacation, but be careful not to take on more than you can manage. Make lists of things that must be done before the trip, and secondary lists of things you would like to accomplish if possible. Be sure to set strict limits with yourself and others of what you can and cannot do.

* Ask For Help: Don't wait for others to ask what they can do to help. Instead, ask everyone to pick the tasks from your list that they feel comfortable with. In addition to the list of caregiving and household chores, include vacation-planning tasks such as:

-Take the car in for service/cleaning/tire rotation

-Get maps/brochures of vacation destinations

-Make itineraries/check availabilities

-Get reservations/tickets

-Stock up on groceries/cook meals ahead for the freezer

-Refill medications, stock up on supplies

-Call agencies and interview caregivers for respite care

-Make a schedule with details of all duties for the caregiver(s) -Organize back-up help

-Distribute an emergency plan with contact information to everyone

* Be Positive: Having a vacation to look forward to will help you feel less deprived of a normal life. Be aware that having fun, laughing, and focusing on pleasurable things, rather than ill health, will help to keep you in emotional balance. The break will recharge your batteries.

* Use Adult Day Care: Enrolling elderly loved ones in Adult Day Care is often the very best thing for them. They'll be busy enjoying activities like singing, crafts, cooking, gardening and bingo with professionals who know how to motivate and manage them, helping them focus less on your absence.

* Seek Professional Help to Cope: Numerous resources are available to help caregivers. Consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager, who can personally guide you through the complicated maze of eldercare. Also, many faith-based organizations offer support to family caregivers.

-Area Agency on Aging or Department of Aging

-Family Caregiver Support Program (800) 422-3263

-Eldercare Locator (800) 677-1116

-Alzheimer's Association (800) 272-3900

-National Family Caregivers Association (800) 896-3650

-National Adult Day Services Association (212) 494-0755

* Shift Perspective: Resolve to stay in the present, savor the good moments, and guard against focusing on the decline of your loved one. Imagine yourself in their position, needing a caregiver to do things for you all of the time. Now ask yourself what you'd want for your loved ones who'd be taking care of you? Would you want them to be continually sad, depressed, burdened, isolated, and not living up to their potential, following their dreams or even taking a vacation--because of you?

Of course not.

Realize that your happiness is what your loved one wants most for you (even if it doesn't seem like it), and that you do them honor by living a balanced and fulfilled life, which includes enjoying vacations.